I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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