But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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