You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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