thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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