my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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