I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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