farters have to be the big spoon...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
