By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.