Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
