my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My penis needs a shock collar
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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