How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize