this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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