She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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