Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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