All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
