I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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