Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she looked like the before picture.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.