I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?