I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.