GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
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I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
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So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.