Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.