I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him