i don't like sucking hair
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
