Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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