we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
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she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
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Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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