just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
