Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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