I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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