So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize