This girl is more easily done than said...
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
