White coat. Heels.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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