if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way