can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.