I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??