I showed him my bush... on skype.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.