Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah