Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
