Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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