so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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