if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
