Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
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My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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