my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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