I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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