just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
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I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize