I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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