He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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