My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
you're hired as official boob wrangler
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
