Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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