that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You ruined the universe
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
