Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
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