I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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