She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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