So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
