He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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