apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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