evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO