Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she told me i tasted like america
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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