Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
