Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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